“First trust yourself, then you will know how to live.”
~Johann W. von Goethe
Do you ever find yourself thinking, “I wonder if she’s being straight with me?” Or, “I just don’t feel I can trust him.”
For many, the real issue is learning to trust yourself. Because when you trust yourself, you instinctively know when someone else is trustworthy. When you look inside yourself for answers, you know when you can trust information outside yourself.
From personal experience, I find that when I live from a place of trusting myself I attract people who deserve my trust. And the reverse is also true: when I feel unsure about myself, I tend to attract people who are not as trusting or trustworthy.
Does the same hold true for you?
Trust has a distinct and discernible vibration and you can feel it. It’s called instinct and when you’re in tune with the high frequency vibration of trust you “know it in your bones.” Trust comes from a state of intuitive knowing; it’s not a fact based phenomenon.
Your capacity for trust is directly related to your willingness to trust yourself first. And by extension, other people. Your capacity for trust influences your perceptions and beliefs which influence your behavior. And behavior is what builds or breaks trust.
Dr. Duane C. Tway, Jr. defines trust as, “the state of readiness for unguarded interaction with someone or something.” That same construct was articulated by Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) who suggested that Ethos, the Trust of a speaker, was based on the listener’s perception of three characteristics of the speaker:
Little has changed today.
Not surprisingly, the attribute most widely associated with trustworthy behavior is integrity. This vital aspect of good behavior is demonstrated through conscientious honesty and moral courage. Put simply, if you want people to trust you, they must believe that you will consistently do the right thing, regardless of circumstances or pressures.
As you examine trust in your life, remember and appreciate these five trust “truths:”
- Trust is a two-way street; you get it if you give it.
- Trust has to be earned. If you broke the trust, it’s possible to regain it but the trust breaker doesn’t get to set the expectations or time frame for earning it back.
- To regain somebody’s trust both sides have to want the trust back. You can never force a person to trust you.
- Trust is an essential past of ALL successful relationships be they academic, romantic, friendly or familial.
- Trust is a gift – you give it and your receive it. It should never be taken for granted.